Time for some realness
One thing I am working on being more honest with myself about is the fact that I am an overachiever and kind of a perfectionist. My mindset most of the time when I’m getting into something is to go all in and I go from 0 zero 100 real quick. I still haven’t fully accepted that I’m a perfectionist (I’m working on it, ok?). However, I am much more aware of how the all or nothing minuet can be harmful. My mind often says that if I don’t get it right or if I mess up, all hope is lost so why even bother…and that leads into other negative thoughts that leads me to the path of using shaming language to my self.
Right after I launched my website I set myself to complete the Chloe Ting 2 week summer ab challenge and it was hard! I did it for the first three days but I really struggled because I’m not as strong as I thought. I enjoyed getting my heart rate up and I think her workouts are very good. However, I felt defeated because I couldn’t do all the reps perfectly, my form wasn’t great, and some exercises were painful. I closed all the windows in my house because I was afraid of someone seeing me look like a fool. I used to be very active and its hard to remember that I need to start slow and work my way back up. It's also a lot harder to do bodyweight training when you weigh more of course. So, I just gave up on it and due to my embarrassment, I haven’t posted anything on the blog again or on Instagram because I was afraid of having to admit that I messed up. I know that it is a little crazy and self limiting because the truth about self improvement is that nothing is going to be perfect. I’ve put on a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself to feel like everything I post has to be good and the false belief that people may not want to read about when things go wrong. However, after sharing my fears with others, I learned that people do want to know about the ups and downs because humans are complex and my story is probably similar to a lot of people who are going through the same thing.
I’ve come up with 3 things to work on to improve in this area.
Don’t Compare Myself to Others
With social media and coming into my thirties, its easy to see what other people are doing and wondering if I’m on the right track. When I see a friend or another woman doing well in her fitness journey or has a great body, I can celebrate for her without speaking badly for myself. I’m doing great things too and I’m still beautiful in my own way. Easier said than done and this will take a lot of practice!
Set Realistic Expectations
When I make goals for myself, I need to start small with things that I will actually do instead of what I think will get others approval or will make me look more committed. If my goal is to walk 3 days a week and I did it, that is success, and shows that I can commit to my goals.
Accept Mistakes and Share My Story
Finally, the most difficult part in all of this will be accepting my mistakes and sharing the parts of my story that make me fearful. The first book I read this year was Daring Greatly by Brené Brown and one of the lines that stayed with me the most is: “Only when we’re brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
I’ve been stuck in the mindset that vulnerability is weakness since I was probably around 12 years old. A girl who sat with me at lunch gave me a lot of grief for being honest about my insecurities and since then I was continuously reminded that opening up is a bad thing. However, it's true that a lot of people desire to build great relationships but are afraid to show the “dark” part of themselves because maybe people won’t like them. For the longest time my dear friend Krystal encouraged me to share my weight loss story because I was doing so well but I was afraid because I was embarrassed and what if I mess up? Well, honestly I should just say So, what?! and keep going because weight loss goes up and downs and there will be some bad days. As long as I did my best today, there’s always room to improve for tomorrow. If some people don’t like it, then they probably aren’t the type of audience I’m looking for.
Ultimately, I discovered that I prefer cardio workouts that involve dancing and having fun! If you know me personally, you know that I love music and dancing as a way to connect with others. Later this week, I’ll share some routines with you that I found to be challenging but still exciting for me as I look forward to each workout.
Please share in the comments if you have any words of wisdom on setting goals and trusting the process!
